The New Place
04 07 13
Erin and I went and drove through Avalon Park tonight to see what all this grand community has to offer. There’s a cute little downtown area with shops and restaurants, reminiscent of Celebration. It should be a fun place to live, especially after the Publix they’re building is finished.
4 Responses to “The New Place”
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July 15th, 2004 at 01:47 PM
Hi Tyler, you don’t know me, and I don’t know you, but I do know one thing. You’re an awful writer, and you don’t realize it. You should realize it, because that will make you a better writer. I’ve outlined below why you’re a bad writer, to help you. I’m sorry if its long, but there’s alot of material to cover.
You don’t use your own words. You and I both know you didn’t go to the downtown area of Avalon Park and think “this is a cute little downtown area”. Your girlfriend, Erin, most likely said it, and you copied it because you really don’t have much of an opinion on it to write down. If you don’t have something to say about it, don’t write anything about it. When you steal someone else’s thoughts, everyone can tell.
Don’t use superfluous or unnatural language. Using the word ‘grand’ is very uncommon and awkward prose. You don’t like that in real life, or if you do, you shouldn’t, because it makes you sound like a pretentious ass. Don’t worry if you feel like normal words are too pedestrian. You’re pretty pedestrian yourself, and you don’t want to show such a jarring clash between reality and your words.
If you must use superfluous, flowery language, at least make sure you use the Right words. For example, in your article about ticketing, you say that the police frequently “disperse” tickets. A quick glance at a dictionary will tell you that this is simply not an applicable word in this context. Disburse or issue would be better suited. If you aren’t sure of your vocabulary, use a dictionary. You don’t want to sound like a fool to someone who actually knows anything.
Finally, don’t worry so much about seeming intelligent. You’re probably at least as intelligent and self-aware as a post or roadsign. When you try to seem much more in-depth and intelligent than you actually, those of us with some actual perspective can tell. Also, your illusion of having eclectic taste is somewhat shattered by saying that the place should be fun, especially after a Publix is built. Publix isn’t exactly a hub of high society. Do you see what I mean?
Good luck in trying to improve your terrible, terrible writing. One last note: Brevity is key. If something isn’t interesting, don’t write it!
Sincerely, Patrick Lee
July 21st, 2004 at 12:36 AM
Dearest Patrick Lee, Who are you in the first place? How can you say that my friend is “an awful writer” Do you even know the mind of Tyler Hunt? I think not. Do you know his social standings in the class of high society? Once again, I abjure to connect a difference. How’s that for aristocracy?
How did you come up with that daring assumption? Do you really know how this man’s mind works? Or in reality, Do you just like lurking from journal to journal filling in the little ego you have repremanding everyone’s sense about life. My dear Patrick, such time is only to be wasted on your ill-threatened life. If you only knew my “grand” friend ,Mr. Tyler Hunt, then you would only be entertaining yourself with the mere thoughts he has on the subject of his new house. Although, maybe you should not just grade everyone’s journal like a high school Advance Placement test. People like you, Patrick Lee, that discourage the creativeness of journals. They are not meant to be poetry filling the room with stimulating drama, but rather a footnote in one’s life. In conclusion, if my friend wants to make a hasty journal entry, then so be it. Patrick, your the only pretentious, grandoise, feigned, aureate ass in this place, and you permeate with obscene thoughts that make me gag. Or maybe you shouldn’t bring everything you happen to pick out of the garbage.
Ass.
July 21st, 2004 at 09:42 AM
Corey, First, I respect that you’re defending your friend who seemingly can’t defend himself.
Second, I’m going to just assume that your heavy use, or misuse as it is, of flowery language, such as “you permeate with obscene thoughts” and “abjure to connect a difference”, was an attempt at irony on your part, and not an even worse misuse of language than Tyler’s.
Ok now, on to defending my criticism. Your main thrust seems to be that I can’t hold Tyler to a high standard because its just a blog, not a concentrated effort at writing. If I thought that Tyler was writing in a casual sense in his blog, then I would agree with you. However, I don’t think that is the case because:
1) It is a public blog that he is aware others read. 2) His language is, as I pointed out in my criticism, overly flowery, implying he put effort into writing it that way. 3) He makes a lot of effort towards profundity even with the very mundane, wishing to appear deep without actually being so.
Therefore, I think its fair to say his blog is a direct, intentional effort at appearing to be a deep, thoughtful, good writer. Thus, I feel I can and should critique his massive, near-comical failure in this. While I don’t know his mind perfectly, I know what he writes in his blog, which is clearly his attempt at expressing his mind. I don’t think its fair to say I have no perspective on him, when in fact the perspective I have on him comes solely from him.
Finally, I must say that since Tyler has yet to respond to my comment, he likely knows on some level that I am right. I don’t think Tyler is a bad guy, I just think that people should be aware of their limitations, be they physical or in this case, mental.
Sincerely, Patrick Lee
July 21st, 2004 at 09:35 PM
To Patrick: Tyler is probably making out with his woman in his spare time - most likely accounting for his lack of time to properly modify his writing to something that meets with your approval. An online blog exists as an emotional release for a person to do whatever the hell he/she wants to - who are you to try and create some sort of pissing contest on something that exists for Tyler’s own enjoyment. We all get enough shit at work from our clients and bosses - why should we have to come home and feel the pressure to write perfectly for some unknown person who hasn’t even earned our respect? At least I know Tyler personally, and I’ve hung out with him and know who he is. If anyone has the ability to critique his online personality, it is me, and you don’t see me giving him the disrespect of being rude and insulting before I’ve even know whats going on in his life. You can make up shit all day long and tear people down, any asshole can do that, so what kind of person are you? Take the time to be courteous and get to know someone, then you earn the right to be critical. You have earned nothing but disrespect.