Tyler Hunt

My first hosteling experience was in Boston on my seventh-grade class trip with The Geneva School. The trip was one of the most memorable of my life, and a large part of those memories were of the good times spent at the hostel. So, when Kim first mentioned that we were going to be spending Memorial Day weekend at a hostel in the Everglades, my ears perked up pretty quick. There aren’t too many people willing to put up in low-cost dorm-style housing, and share the facilities with a wide range of other travelers. They tend to be havens for hippies, and draw all sorts of interesting characters.

The Everglades International Hostel has lived up to every expectation, and exceeded some. From the sign at the front desk that magically appeared as the office door was shut, to the big screen TV in the side room of the Kitchen House, this hostel has proved to be about as quirky as should be expected. The nicest feature of the place is the large courtyard in the back, which is an amusement park in itself, with its outdoor bed, seahorse water garden, and cushion-filled screen rotunda with rooftop patio. The kitchen is well stocked, and the communal fridge offers plenty for those with adventurous appetites. The Everglades Hostel is an authentic remnant of South Florida architecture and culture, open to those with even the smallest of budgets, or a willingness to pitch a tent in the back.

One of the best things about cruises is coming back to your room each night and finding a new towel creature perched on the pillow or suspended from the ceiling. There were some good ones this time around, too, most of them making clever use of my sunglasses which happened to by lying around. In fact, I wonder what they do when people don’t leave sunglasses in their rooms. And who comes up with these things in the first place? Do the cabin stewards sit around in their rooms in their free time with a huge pile of towels beside them, seeing how many different ways they can roll and twist and concoct them into something vaguely resembling some sort of living creature?

They actually sell some form of these things now, called Towel Buddies. In fact, the sheer number of ways Carnival has devised for taking your money astounds me. Everywhere you turn, some product or service is being shoved in your face and forced down your throat. Even the bathrobes and beach towels in the cabin are available for purchase. Bingo before every show, pictures taken at every turn, and the hardest pushed of all, the Video Travel Log. They’ve got every corner covered. If it ain’t food, it ain’t free. But the food on the other hand, it’s all-you-can-eat, all-the-time. They’ll make a glutton out of an anorexic. It’s good stuff though, and a good distraction for those of us who aren’t drunk the whole time.

Today’s stop at Cozumel marks the second and final destination for the trip. It’s funny, I’ve been here once before, but never realized it was an island. The taxi drivers were just as great as last time though. They would fit right in on Orlando roads. I didn’t feel like dealing with all of the hassles of another excursion today, and I’m happy with that decision. After the rushed day in Grand Cayman yesterday, it was nice to be able to spend the whole day seeing everything at a leisurely pace. The thing to do here is shop, but after about the first two or three stores, everything starts to look the same. There are Diamonds International stores on every other corner, with a few Tanzanite Internationals thrown in for good measure. Tanzanite is the big thing in precious stones right now. It’s considered a good investment piece since its value is apparently rising by twenty-five percent every year. There is only one known mine for the purple gem, and it will supposedly run out in about ten years.

It was fun watching everyone come off of the party boats and stagger back onto the ship about ten minutes before we were scheduled to depart. Two guys jumped off the pier into the water and had to be rescued with a ladder. That was really entertaining. Then there was a long guy who made his slow and crooked trek down the pier just as they were starting to pull in the gangplanks. They had to send someone out to escort him. I don’t think he would have made it otherwise. At one point he stopped dead in his tracks to take a picture of the ship. That was one of the funniest moments of the whole cruise.

Today was our first port of call: Grand Cayman. We went on an excursion to snorkel and swim with the stingrays. The snorkeling wasn’t anything too special, and it seemed like it was cut really short. The stingrays made up for it though. It was a really cool experience, standing on a sandbar in three to eight feet of water, the stingrays would come right alongside and brush up against your legs. They describe the feeling of the topside like touching a mushroom. I don’t know if I would quite agree, unless maybe it was a wet mushroom. Anyways, it was a lot of fun and I’m glad I took the opportunity to do it.

Overall, my feelings about this cruise are kind of mixed. The boat is the exact same model as the last Carnival ship we were on, even though that was about seven years ago. I haven’t been very impressed with the food or service, but maybe I as just spoiled by Royal Caribbean, which is definitely a caliber above Carnival. The entertainment has been pretty lousy as well. I left last night’s Las Vegas-style revue early, and tonight’s magic show and comedian weren’t much better. At this point, you’re probably thinking I’m having a horrible time. That isn’t quite the case, but it would certainly be more fun with some of you here.

At ten in the morning when the casino opens, there are already people there with nickels and quarters burning holes in their pockets. Carter was one of these people today. Don’t ever let that kid tell you he doesn’t have a gambling problem. I watched him play blackjack today for about an hour, where his stack of chips ranged in height from one to nine, but he ended up losing just about all of it. There were a couple other guys who came and dropped a pair of C-notes on the table, so it’s probably a good thing he’s limited to the cash in his wallet. It will be interesting to see if he really wins it all back or learns his lesson by the end of the cruise.

As much as I enjoyed the other cruises I’ve been on for their endless supplies of good food and non-stop activities, it’s the little things that make cruising fun. Like the muster stations. The emergency drill is always the most annoying part of the trip, which could be the reason why they call the emergency meeting place a muster station. It’s such a funny name. They also made sure to inform us that the lifeboats are “unsinkable, even when floated.” That’s good to know.

The “Welcome Aboard Show” tonight featured a comedian with a southern accent and the weirdest dynamism in his voice. He did a bit on bank tellers that was funny though. Relating back to his job at a Los Angeles bank, he expressed his love for the daily robberies, because the first thing the robber would always do was tell everyone to hit the floor. This gave him an opportunity to get off his feet and take a little nap. This guy was very fond of lying on the ground, because he laid down on the stage and seemed to enjoy it a lot. Also, being so fond of sleeping, apparently he heard somewhere that thirty minutes of sleep during the day is equivalent to two hours at night. By that rule, I got eight hours this afternoon, although it certainly doesn’t feel like it.

I took a walk around the deck tonight after hitting up the midnight buffet. The fog tonight was unbelievably dense. It’s amazing they can navigate such a huge boat through such dark and obfuscated air. I went up to the front of the ship to see how bad the visibility really was and feel the strength of the wind at the stern. Then I almost got blasted away by the fog horn. There was something eerie about being up on that empty deck with the silent movement of the radar as the only sign of life.